Summertime Woes

Have you ever had the type of morning where everything seems to be overwhelming?

The housework?

The Kids?

The bills?

The pets?

Did I mention housework?

The dishes have piled up, the living room looks like a tornado hit, because god forbid the kids play with their toys in their bedroom.

Laundry is piled up in several different places. The clean clothes haven’t been folded from two days ago yet, because well it’s summer and the kids demand your attention. You have opted out of cleaning to make memories with your children. You’ve taken them to the park, the beach, a road trip, visiting family or friends. Whatever the case may be, you are not a bad parent.

I have had to have this mantra in my head for a while now. “I am not a bad mom”, it replays in my head like a broken record. When I look around my house and see its destruction, I have to remind myself that my kids are happy, fed, and semi clean. That’s what matters. In the end, when they grow up, they won’t remember the clean house, the bare counter top or the sparkling floors. They will remember the fun times we had picking up sea shells at the beach. They will remember chasing mommy and daddy with the water guns in the back yard. That is what matters. Interacting with them and showing them how to relax and that it’s ok to have fun. They don’t need to see a stressed out mom or dad, they are kids. We need to let them be kids, and help them be kids, before it’s too late and this time has past us by.

That’s why today is my clean up day. They are being relatively good playing with each other so I can get the house work done and be able to play with them again.

Have a happy Tuesday all, we are in this together and we will get through these years.

Enjoy the time while you can😎☀️☺️

Gambo, NL

You know I think I have found a new term to describe something that happens a lot it seems in my family. Some people would just call it home sick, I’m going to start calling it Gamboitis. Well maybe not, that would just be a weird name.

My mother is from a small community in central Newfoundland called Gambo. It is a beautiful town, that I would recommend everyone to visit in their lifetime. I was lucky enough to grow up there as well and be able to spend immense amounts of time with my aunts and uncles and grandparents in my younger years. I lived there for several years growing up, but before and after that time, I would spend every summer at my grandparents or my Aunts house.

However since growing up and moving out of my family home and starting a family of my own, time is pretty hard to come by, and it rare when I get the chance to visit, same thing goes for my Mother. She hardly gets a chance to go visit my grandmother and her sisters( my aunts).

This is where the “Gamboitis” sinks in. For mom, it happens a lot around holidays and birthdays. We remember the fond memories and people we miss that live there. For me it happens whenever I get a moment to pause and think of the “old days”. The simpler time when I truly had no worries except if I was going to go swimming or laze around the backyard. I’m sure mom thinks about home more too, she just doesn’t say anything.

I guess where I’m trying to go with this post is well I don’t know. If you are ever in Newfoundland, don’t pass by Gambo without a stop in, and if you are looking for something to eat, Vonnie Lee Chicken is the best place. There are great walking trails everywhere, and beautiful scenery. During the summer months if you go up to Joeys Lookout on the highway, a lovely man Harold Penny has a hotdog cart with the best sausage dogs you could ever imagine. You really don’t want to miss out on those.

Sunday Morning

WARNING: this post discusses a woman’s monthly cycle. If you do not wish to read about the menstural cycle, I suggest skipping this post.

Thoughts for this morning; slow starting, coffee ain’t cutting it, kind of morning.

I’m sitting here in bed, trying to think of something to write, but all my mind seems to be running back to is the excruciating pain that is radiating from my abdomen.

Like so many women in this world, I am plagued by the monthly visit fro the dreaded “Aunt Flo” “That time of the month” or whatever other tagline you can think of. It shows up every 21-28 days, stays for roughly 5 days, and then leaves, not before draining you of every ounce of energy or comfort you have. During the summer, it seems to be ten times worse. You are already uncomfortable with the heat, but then add this to the mix, and the pain and misery is 10 times unbearable.

For myself, this misery that is only supposed to last roughly 5 days, can last up to 11 for me, while I await surgery to help me. I am even on pills to help slow down the flow, and they aren’t working for me anymore. I have become anemic due to this monthly event, and the pain at times has sent me to my knees and I am unable to preform any simple tasks without having to run to the bathroom to change clothing first.

I love seeing the posts on how this should be so painful, and why am I being punished for not being pregnant again. Why cant we throw a party, and celebrate another no baby month :). I already have 3 beautiful children whom I love and adore with every fibre of my being. My body has done its time creating life… don’t I deserve a break lol.

I guess this is kind of my rant for the day because it seems that I am going to be bed ridden today with a hot water bottle, and cringe every time I have to get up and run to the bathroom, or just every time I need to cough or sneeze. I will be glad when this week is over, and I can get back to normal, and maybe not feel dizzy and like I am going to pass out if I walk more than 5 steps.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

What’s New.

So recently I started a go fund me page because I finally realize I need help. If I am going to get any proper work done, and get this website off the ground and where it needs to be, I need help. This is not something that is easy for me to say or do,but I need the proper equipment to do what I have envisioned to do. I am not asking for anything fancy either. I have spent since May using my iPhone 6s for all of my work. My pictures, videos and blog posts have all been written from this phone, and it is hard. All I need is a laptop and a decent camera for filming for YouTube and I’ll be set. I’m not asking for the top of the line brand names either, I just need something I can work with. I know once I have what I need, I can make this website soar.

I hope this little post reaches you well, and have a blessed weekend everyone.❤️❤️❤️

www.gofundme.com/mq4pz-business-start-up

Story time.

A perfect day usually consists of sleeping in, but not me, I’m not normal.

I’ve already had my perfect day, actually perfect weekend. I know everyone is expecting me to say, the day my children where born, or even the day I got married. Please don’t get me wrong, those days were amazing on their own, but after all the struggles I have been through in the past 4 years, my perfect weekend came to me in the best kind of way. One of the people I am closest to in this world called me up one day after not seeing each other in over 2 years and asked me if I wanted to get away for the night. So naturally I grabbed my bag, handed the kids to their father and jumped on it. We rented a cabin about a half hour away from my home, and stayed there overnight. We drank, we ate, and had a night of catching up on all the things we have missed in each other’s life. It was so relaxing, and nothing outside that cabin mattered for 24 hours. There were no worries, just enjoying my big sisters company.

Time.

We don’t have much time on this Earth, and yet some of us choose to spend what little time we have wasting away in worry and concern for what others think of us. In some cases, really what we think others think of us.

There are only 24 hours in a single day, 1440 minutes, and we have so much else we could be spending our time on, rather than wasting it with worry and negativity.

You should put your energy into positivity and happiness. I know that is easier said than done, and you are probably there shaking your head as you read this, but if you just changed one thought around from negative to positive, it could impact how your whole day goes.

I never believed the saying ” Mind Over Matter”. I’ve heard it my whole life, and just thought it was a simple cliche, until recently. I had an issue that I kept saying I couldn’t do, it wasn’t me. I kept using negative terminology whenever it came up. I began to practice changing the negative to positive, and it really helped. Whenever I caught myself thinking I couldn’t do it, I would change the words in my head to ” I can do it, I will do it, it’s gonna be done”. Sometimes I’d stand there and give myself a little pep talk. It really helped. Once I started seeing this conundrum in a more positive light, it became easier to get done.

But, I didn’t want this post to be fully about how to change to positive thinking.

The message I wanted to bring forth today was that,with the little time we have on this Earth, you don’t truly know how much time you have to spend with the people you love. You should make every moment count because you don’t know when fate is going to take that away from you. I once had someone tell me “Family is everything”, and I was young and naive at that time, I never understood his words. Today though, I take that saying to heart and know I wouldn’t be half the human being I have turned out to be, if it wasn’t for my family. I have been so fortunate.

For now this is my early Thursday Morning thoughts, I hope you all have a great day💜💜

Lost

The shadows fall upon the wall.

The silence is so loud.

The tears will flow.

The cries, not heard,

But felt from deep within.

People all around you now,

They fear what they do not know.

Will someone come to you side to aide,

No, Not at all, you are alone.

You may feel the sunshine,

You may even crack a smile,

But these small glimpses of happiness,

Are fleeting all the while.

My Bucket List

Everyone has a bucket list of things they wish to do before they leave this Earth.
I don’t have a long one, but I figured I would share my list with you since today I sadly had to take one thing off my bucket list.

1. Have a successful blog

2. Own a house

3. Visit Egypt

4. Not to be rich, but to have enough money to live comfortably and give my children everything they need.

5. Write a novel

6. Have a YouTube channel

7. Own a gaming PC.

8. Quit Smoking

9. Meet Lilly Singh.

10. Meet iJustine.

11. Become physically fit.

12. See my children grow up happy and healthy.

13. Have takeout brought to me and eat with no kids or animals around while I work on writing.

14: Meet Anthony Bourdain.😥💔

There are so many other things i could put on this list since it is ever changing.
Unfortunately as I said earlier, today I had to take one thing off of my list because a good man lost his battle today.

This morning, news shocked the world that Anthony Bourdain had taken his life in his hotel room. This was a man I would of loved to have the pleasure to meet one day. He was such an inspiration to myself and so many other people. He truly touched everyone he came into contact with, and I can only hope he is at peace now wherever his soul maybe. My thoughts and prayers are with his daughter and his family at this time.

UPDATE:

To add to this list things I forgot at the time I posted this.

15. Travel to British Columbia

16. Meet Lana Parrilla

17. Meet Jennifer Morrison

18. Visit Stevenson B.C.

19. Visit all of the location where Once Upon A Time filmed.

20. Be a part of something bigger than myself

21. Help someone in need.

Withdrawal.

Into meltdown mode I go,

Crashing.

The anger fills my nose and burns my throat.

The fear of failure is all too real.

My head spins in a million directions,

And no where to run.

How is this supposed to be easy for me?

Should I just keep my mouth shut and be fake happy?

I’ve stopped something I’ve done for years.

My chest feels like it will burst at a moments notice.

My comfort on rainy days is gone.

Where do I find stress relief now?

More questions than there are answers.

Tales from Below pt2.

Now that you have caught your breathe,

with that door slammed behind you, your

eyes roll as you remember,

something forgotten down there.