The Mom Voice

This Monday morning has been a bless and a curse.

The kids went off to school fine, but my nerves are worse than if it was the first day of kindergarten.

For future reference I refer to my children on social media as 1,2 and 3.

A little back story, 2 and 3 have had to get a hug,kiss, and high five from me as part of their routine everyday in school last year. It is what calmed their anxiety and got them ready to face the day in school. Now they needed to do this about 3 times before I left them at the school. Comforting for them, nerve wrecking for me. I would love to be the parent that just drops them off outside and rushed off to my day, but unfortunately that is not the case. For whatever reasons their separation anxiety piqued last year in the new school, and it as that way all year.

Fast forward to this year, where I spent the last two weeks of summer vacation explaining to them that I can only give the hug,kiss,and high five once and then they would have to go on. Their merry ways and I would be outside the school waiting for them at the end of the day.

So this morning, I dropped 2 and 3 off at school and their father dropped 1 off at the middle school. 3 went on to her classroom fine. Now, this is the first time 2 has had to go upstairs in the school and find his way to his classroom on his own. He also had to wade through a whole hallway of new kindergarteners and their parents. 2 was a little tears eyed as he walked away from me, but he held his head high and disappeared into the crowd.

This is where my mom nerves kick in. I don’t know if he got upstairs, I don’t know if he found his locker, and I certainly don’t know if he is ok in his classroom right now. I did the exact thing I said I wouldn’t o this morning and I stood and waited there for 5 mins, while no kid came back to me.

Now I know a lot of you may think I am crazy, and I am sure everything will be fine and he will come out of the school fine this afternoon.

BUT…. The little mom voice is sitting in the corner in the back of my head, wondering all day if he is ok. Another side note, 2 is also in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD or something else. Last year he threw tantrum after tantrum about being afraid of going to school, not wanting to go on the bus, and has gone so far as to hide under the bed crying because I was being a horrible mom trying to make him go to school.

The school as been so helpful this past year, helping me get him into the routine of being left in school, even if it did take a whole month of me dropping him off crying in the office and sneaking away. Those days were long and agonizing, because I would leave him there crying, after a morning off struggling, and then he would have a great day in school, and come home happy go lucky.

So, this is why I have the fears I have this year. This is only his second day in school, and last Friday I was able to take him up to his classroom, and help him find his locker.

Now I will putter around the house and make myself busy to keep my mind off it until it is time to pick him up the afternoon, where he will be fine, and he will tell me all about his day, and I will be so proud of him.

That is my mom rant for today. Expect another post tomorrow 🙂

UPDATE: Everything went fine, and my mom nerves were unfounded. They all had a great day.

Back to School

This year has to be one of the most interesting years for struggling to get everything together before the kids go back to school on Sept. 7th. I have 3 children in school, Grades 6, 2, and 1. This is the massive list of school supplies I had to pick up to have them prepared to go back to school.

1 Ruler
1 Protractor
1 Highlighter
1 Package of loose leaf paper
2 Binders (1 inch)
2 sets of headphones
2 packages of colouring leads
2 packages of plastic spoons
2 Packages of plastic straws
3 Pencil cases
3 Book Bags
3 Lunch Bags
4 Pairs of scissors
4 Pairs of Sneakers
5 packages of crayons (24 pack)
6 boxes of pencils
6 boxes of tissues
10 white erasers
10 Binder dividers
14 large glue sticks
24 Exercise Books (non coiled)
34 duo tangs

New clothing for each child because they are growing like I don’t know what. I did not buy excessive clothing just because I wanted them to have something new for the first day of school. They needed it. Sometime between June and now, my oldest managed to grow about 3 inches taller and out of ever single pair of pants he owned, and the same goes for my middle child. So not only did I have to buy one suit of new clothing for school, I basically had to outfit their wardrobes all over again, so they would have clothing that fit them. They aren’t going to get away with wear shorts all the time soon.
Also, somehow between June and now, every sock this house has managed to fly away. So I had to buy a pack of 10 pairs of socks each.

Now like a lot of you out there, I did not just pick up and go, and I certainly did not buy name brand where I didn’t have to. The whole of my shopping was done between Walmart, Rossy, and the Dollar store. Yes I broke myself buying everything my children need for the school year, and yes these next two weeks are going to be tight around here, but one thing is for sure….

I have so much GRATITUDE to be able to say this.

I am not complaining because I have 3 beautiful children who are able to go to school in September. We live in a Province and Country where it is safe for them to get an education. I was able to provided for my 3 beautiful children what they need to give them the best start of the new year. Just the thought that I am able to be here and have 3 children to take care of and provide for makes me grateful for this life.

I am so lucky that I can send my children to a school where I know the teachers and staff, and I can trust that my children are taken care of from the moment I drop them off at the door, till the time I pick them up in the afternoon.

I appreciate everything the teacher do on a daily basis. They are the real MVPs here.
I certainly don’t look at it has the teachers fault for all the things my children need on the list for school. The Teachers are helping me mould my children into well behaved human beings and to be come the best that they can be. If that means 4 packs of crayons for one kid, then heck yeah. 16 exercise books, sure. It’s all for a great purpose.

And that’s my Thursday Rant. Have a great day everyone.

Sunday

Sunday, Sunday, lovely Sunday. The rain is pouring, the air is heavy and thick with humidity, and the sound of thunder is anticipated any moment now.

I sit here scrolling through my twitter feed, coffee in hand. Taking in this slow day, in all it glory. There aren’t many slow days in this house, and this moment won’t be forever. Soon a child will come calling for food, or screaming because a sibling looked at them the wrong way. For now though, I soak up this momentary peace, ever so fleeting.

I know there is a list a mile long of house work that can be done, but you won’t see me doing any of it today..

It will still be there tomorrow.

My Bucket List

Everyone has a bucket list of things they wish to do before they leave this Earth.
I don’t have a long one, but I figured I would share my list with you since today I sadly had to take one thing off my bucket list.

1. Have a successful blog

2. Own a house

3. Visit Egypt

4. Not to be rich, but to have enough money to live comfortably and give my children everything they need.

5. Write a novel

6. Have a YouTube channel

7. Own a gaming PC.

8. Quit Smoking

9. Meet Lilly Singh.

10. Meet iJustine.

11. Become physically fit.

12. See my children grow up happy and healthy.

13. Have takeout brought to me and eat with no kids or animals around while I work on writing.

14: Meet Anthony Bourdain.😥💔

There are so many other things i could put on this list since it is ever changing.
Unfortunately as I said earlier, today I had to take one thing off of my list because a good man lost his battle today.

This morning, news shocked the world that Anthony Bourdain had taken his life in his hotel room. This was a man I would of loved to have the pleasure to meet one day. He was such an inspiration to myself and so many other people. He truly touched everyone he came into contact with, and I can only hope he is at peace now wherever his soul maybe. My thoughts and prayers are with his daughter and his family at this time.

UPDATE:

To add to this list things I forgot at the time I posted this.

15. Travel to British Columbia

16. Meet Lana Parrilla

17. Meet Jennifer Morrison

18. Visit Stevenson B.C.

19. Visit all of the location where Once Upon A Time filmed.

20. Be a part of something bigger than myself

21. Help someone in need.

3 Reasons why I love Xbox

Have you ever had something you really enjoy? For some people, its running a hot bat and soaking with a drink and some candles. For others, it’s a comfy corner and a good book. For me, it’s the feel a comfortable controller in my hand, and a good game to play after a long day. A snack by my side and I am set for a night of gaming on one of the best consoles that is out there. XBox One. I’ve come up with a short list of just a few thing I love about this gaming console.

1. The Controller. It fits in my hand as if it was molded just for me. Comfort and function all in one. You can even go on the xbox.ca website and order your own custom one from the design lab, which I think is just the best. The more options the better. Being able to have a custom controller makes the gaming experience that much more complete.

2. Game pass. Having over 100 games to choose from at only $11.99 a month is amazing. I don’t have to worry about paying out $80-$100 for one game which myself or the kids could get bored of in a couple of days, and instead have a vast amount to choose from. There are so many great title to choose from as well. State Of Decay 2, Sea of Thieves, Halo 5 and so many more.

3.The Console. The size alone is perfection. It doesn’t take up a lot of space, and the colour white is refreshing too. The power and performance is incomparable. The One S has 4K streaming and 4K Blu-ray, plus you can get all the apps you use like Netflix and YouTube. There is an immersive audio through Dolby Atmos and DTS:X.

There are so many other reasons to love the Xbox system, these are just my main 3.

What is your primary gaming system? Are you an Xbox or PS4 fan? Comment below and let me know which is your fave.

Happy Wednesday Peeps, and have a great day❤️

Monday Blues

Today’s Update:

It was Mother’s Day weekend, and this house was super crazy. My cat Sauce had her kittens Saturday morning, 5 beautiful babies. My puppy Hendrix has developed separation anxiety and was very upset when me and the kids went to visit Nanny and Poppy without him Saturday afternoon. Sunday was well spent with my 3 beautiful children and their father. I shed a few tears from the lovely hand made gifts the kids gave me and the flowers my middle son brought home from Sunday school for me. Unfortunately my youngest daughter woke up yesterday morning at 5 am burning up with a fever and throwing up everywhere, so she spent most of the day in bed, calling out to me every so often when she wasn’t asleep to let me know she had thrown up again and to come clean it up. Thankfully she is feeling much better now.

Now today is Monday and my laptop with all of my work on it has died completely. Can we say Monday Blues. A lot of my work is saved thanks to Microsoft’s OneDrive options and through being able to access wordpress on my phone, but I have lost quite a bit more. The primary school is closed today for PD Day for the kids, the teachers all have meeting or workshops or something, so their father was absolutely a god sent when he got them ready and took them to the playground, for me to get a bit of work done around here. My youngest, feeling much better, had been asking since she woke up this morning about going to the playground today because the sun is shining and that the best reason to go outside to play in her eyes. Does a child really need a reason to want to go outside and play? I take that as a small victory anytime the kids would rather be outside than inside. It’s refreshing to see. My oldest son wasn’t to happy this morning when he realized his school was open today and he had to get up, especially since his brother and sister got to stay home.

Now I sit here and get to figure out what to do about this stuff I lost. I guess there isn’t much I can do, just go from here and begin again. Trying to get used to a small screen is no fun though. Positivity stay with me. You see, not only am I trying to get this blog up off the ground and running, but I am also in the midst of writing a novel. That’s where most of the work was lost. I thought I had it uploaded to the OneDrive or cloud, or whatever it is, but I never. I’m going to need a case of energy drinks to get me through this, HA. I also have a whimpering puppy at my feet who wants all my attention, he can be so adorable.

My handsome sweetie, he is. I just cant wait for the time to come that he actually sleeps through the night. He keeps waking around 2:30 and 3 Am every morning and trying to stay up and play for the rest of the night. Then of course I have to be up at 6:30am.

Anyhow all that is my Monday Update. Hopefully Ill have a better post up tomorrow.

Much love to you all and have a great Monday.

Things Change.

Things change. They always do. If everything always stayed the same then this life that we live would be extremely boring, and we all would be a bunch of boring people walking around doing boring things all the time.  In having said that, this last week I started posting to this blog about getting healthy and living an active lifestyle, and I have realised I have bitten off more than I can chew. I am not giving up on myself by no means, but I want to bring to this platform nothing but my truest self. I want you to see the real me, in all of my lovely fault forming glory:). I am human just like everyone else, and sometimes life just kicks you in the butt.

Today I broke down and had a smoke. Mind you, I have only been at this for a week, and I had been smoke for the better part of 13 years. I have had 3 pregnancies and have successfully quit immediately for each one. After having that smoke, even though it turned my stomach, I know the craving will come back by this evening.. I’ve been nothing but moody and certainly not the best mom that I should be for my 3 kids. I just need to keep reminding myself, BABY STEPS, and the only person I have to answer to is myself.
So this morning I let myself down, but now I can pick myself up again, and go on from here, right? Today is just one of my rough days Having that smoke seems to be all that is on my mind, and the cravings are horrible. I was told by the doctor because of my epilepsy and blood pressure pills I am on, I cannot use the patch or anything that should help someone quit smoking, I have to go cold turkey. It really seems like an impossible task this time. Before I started all of this I found out that I am anemic, and have high blood pressure to boot. I have been back and forth to doctors for the past couple of months because my period is trying to kill me and I am waiting on an ultrasound and surgery to help deal with it.
I just want to have a better life for me and my children, and it seems like I keep getting knocked down every way I turn, So instead of my blog just focusing on healthy living and fitness, it is a mom blog, because mom is what I am. I still did my house work this morning and I still got my workout in, and now in a bit the kids will be home from their sleep over with the grandparents.

This week, I will be posting Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I will also be on the other social medias all week as well.
I hope you all had a great weekend, and this week bless you with good fortune. Much love to you all.