Today I was going to write a book post. I was going to tell you everything I like about a certain book, and why you should run out and buy said book right away. I was going to post lovely pictures of the book with its beautiful dust jacket.
(DISCLAIMER: I am not writing this to hurt anyone. This is a past story and it has been almost 2 years since it happened. Life is Better Now)
Plans change. I have a story stuck in my head that I think you should hear.
So for all of you lovely people, today is…..wait for it…
#WednesdayMotivational
A little over a year and a half ago, I went through a really tough life changing period in my life. It was the week after Canada Day, and everything in my life crumbled at my feet.
Alcohol was involved, Cops were involved. Now before I go any further, no I wasn’t drunk, no I didn’t fight someone in a club, or anything like that. It was supposed to be a fun time though. The Grandparents had taken the 3 kids for the summer, so I was free to do as I pleased.
I wont get into detail as too what happened that night, or name names, but it was just a pivotal moment in my life, and after that everything changed. I do not write this to make anyone feel bad for what happened.
The aftermath of that night is still fresh in my memory though. As I said, the children were away with the Grandparents, and I was left alone in a big house. Left to my own brain to rerun everything that had transpired. I spent the next 7 days waiting for a doctors appointment. 7 days, at 24 hours a day, equals 168 hours I spent awake.
I wasn’t scared or terrified, but I just couldn’t shut my brain off to go to sleep. Netflix and smoking became my best friend. Energy Drinks and Pepsi were my go to drink, and I barely ate anything. I binge watched the heck out of Grace and Frankie, and movies in between.
I think this was the lowest point in my life because I truly felt I had no one around me close by to talk to or help get me through this. I was completely and utterly alone in my mind. My family was a 7 hour drive away, and the very few people I did know in this town were busy with their own lives, and I felt like I would have been bothering them anyways with my own problems.
So I stayed awake, and I thought, and I cried. Not the quiet sob, or silent tears streaming down my face. I ugly cried. I bawled my eyes out until they were red and sore, and my chest felt like it would cave in at any moment.
When I was able to gather myself together, I would just leave the house to walk to the store for smokes, or more energy drinks or Pepsi. I know that was probably all contributing factors to my staying awake, but in that moment I didn’t care. The outside world was a blur. Nothing in that time mattered.
I finally got to see my doctor that Thursday, and ended up being prescribed something to help me get some sleep. I spent the next 24 hours in bed in and out of glorious slumber. I felt refreshed enough after that to gather myself up and hold my head high again and carry on.
Carry on I did!
In the weeks following that event, I moved out of that town and closer to my family, so close that I live with them now, and things have never been better. They help me with the kids, and I am able to focus more on working on blogs and writing.
The whole long lengthy point of me telling you this story is so that if you can take anything away from it, I would want you to know that in a moment of your deepest despair, no matter how bad or ugly things are getting in your moment, it will get better. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but the sun will shine again, and you will come out on the other side like the true warrior you are.
You Will Survive This!
It took me a long while after to realize, one of the hardest moments in my life was also one of the best because if it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be as content and happy with my life and the path I am headed on now.
I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday, and that this week is good to you.
Keep Striving for Greatness.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Crystal 