Story Time

Today I was going to write a book post. I was going to tell you everything I like about a certain book, and why you should run out and buy said book right away. I was going to post lovely pictures of the book with its beautiful dust jacket.

(DISCLAIMER: I am not writing this to hurt anyone. This is a past story and it has been almost 2 years since it happened. Life is Better Now)

Plans change. I have a story stuck in my head that I think you should hear.
So for all of you lovely people, today is…..wait for it…

#WednesdayMotivational

A little over a year and a half ago, I went through a really tough life changing period in my life. It was the week after Canada Day, and everything in my life crumbled at my feet.

Alcohol was involved, Cops were involved. Now before I go any further, no I wasn’t drunk, no I didn’t fight someone in a club, or anything like that. It was supposed to be a fun time though. The Grandparents had taken the 3 kids for the summer, so I was free to do as I pleased.

I wont get into detail as too what happened that night, or name names, but it was just a pivotal moment in my life, and after that everything changed. I do not write this to make anyone feel bad for what happened.

The aftermath of that night is still fresh in my memory though. As I said, the children were away with the Grandparents, and I was left alone in a big house. Left to my own brain to rerun everything that had transpired. I spent the next 7 days waiting for a doctors appointment. 7 days, at 24 hours a day, equals 168 hours I spent awake.
I wasn’t scared or terrified, but I just couldn’t shut my brain off to go to sleep. Netflix and smoking became my best friend. Energy Drinks and Pepsi were my go to drink, and I barely ate anything. I binge watched the heck out of Grace and Frankie, and movies in between.

I think this was the lowest point in my life because I truly felt I had no one around me close by to talk to or help get me through this. I was completely and utterly alone in my mind. My family was a 7 hour drive away, and the very few people I did know in this town were busy with their own lives, and I felt like I would have been bothering them anyways with my own problems.

So I stayed awake, and I thought, and I cried. Not the quiet sob, or silent tears streaming down my face. I ugly cried. I bawled my eyes out until they were red and sore, and my chest felt like it would cave in at any moment.

When I was able to gather myself together, I would just leave the house to walk to the store for smokes, or more energy drinks or Pepsi. I know that was probably all contributing factors to my staying awake, but in that moment I didn’t care. The outside world was a blur. Nothing in that time mattered.

I finally got to see my doctor that Thursday, and ended up being prescribed something to help me get some sleep. I spent the next 24 hours in bed in and out of glorious slumber. I felt refreshed enough after that to gather myself up and hold my head high again and carry on.

Carry on I did!

In the weeks following that event, I moved out of that town and closer to my family, so close that I live with them now, and things have never been better. They help me with the kids, and I am able to focus more on working on blogs and writing.

The whole long lengthy point of me telling you this story is so that if you can take anything away from it, I would want you to know that in a moment of your deepest despair, no matter how bad or ugly things are getting in your moment, it will get better. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but the sun will shine again, and you will come out on the other side like the true warrior you are.

You Will Survive This!

It took me a long while after to realize, one of the hardest moments in my life was also one of the best because if it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be as content and happy with my life and the path I am headed on now.

I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday, and that this week is good to you.

Keep Striving for Greatness.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

F.O.F

I’m having a deep session of F.O.F today.

It’s been in the back of my mind for months now, maybe even years. It’s been the one thing that holds me back in a lot of my everyday endeavours.

What is F.O.F? Well I’m glad you asked. F.O.F stands for Fear Of Failure. It’s that tiny nagging voice that crawls up from the dark recesses of the furthest, deepest corner of the mind. It spreads doubt and fear of everything you try to think of, create , or do. It tries to make you believe you aren’t good enough. It crops up at the worst of times, asking the doubting questions and attempting to extinguish any spark or flame you may be trying to ignite within your soul.

At the best of times it can feel like a road block or wall has been built right in the middle of the path to your dream. At the worst of times, it can feel like chains around your neck, wrists, and ankles. The chains haul you down under the water, trying to drown out any thought of doing something new and exciting.

F.O.F will say why try that? No one is going to want to see it anyway. No one will want to hear what you have to say. You aren’t important enough to even be thinking of that.

You need to stamp that voice out.

Don’t listen to that voice, because if you do… you’ll never experience any of the beauty life has to offer.

There will always be people who want to hear what you have to say, and want to see what you have to bring to the table.

You Are Important!

You have been placed on this Earth to do great things. Destiny has a way for you.

You may not see it right now… but you will find your path.

Let your light shine, and don’t let a single person try to dull you out.

You Are Beautiful inside and out!

Besides what so wrong with failure?

If you fail at one thing, it’s just the opportunity to try something new, or try again till you get it right. Don’t let failure hold you back.

In the words of Rachel Hollis:

“You were Made for More”

Tales from Below pt2.

Now that you have caught your breathe,

with that door slammed behind you, your

eyes roll as you remember,

something forgotten down there.

Tales from Below

Now when I say below, I mean the dark depths of what I personally hate….. the basement. That dark, damp, cold spot in this dwelling that no one wishes to go. You play rock, paper, scissors with your spouse to see whose turn it is. Even with the light turned on, you’d swear you are being watched from the shadows by something more sinister than you wildest nightmares could ever concoct.

You flick the light on at the top of the stairs, and inhale a deep breath before you descend into the dim lit room. All the while you pray that the door at the top of the stairs doesn’t mysteriously close behind you, just in case you need to make a quick run for your life.

You scan the area, hoping you wont see anything move out of the corner of your eye. Of course though, you do. The work bench is covered with all sorts of junk that can create any number of shadows across the room. Your eyes play tricks on you, as you make your way across the room. You start to sweat, your heart racing with every step. With every beat, your breathing intensifies, until you are finally across the room, and standing in front of the washing machine.

Now it’s time to get to work. Get the clothing into the washer, as fast as you can. You can’t keep looking over your shoulder, while you need to get clothes clean. You try to stay focused, but your ears are on full alert, and of course you hear every little thing. The clink of a pipe, the wind outside. All of a sudden, BANG, right out of nowhere. You jump 10 feet in the air. You spin around, trying to figure out what ghoulish creature is coming to take your soul to the underworld. That it you finished, or so you think. That’s when your lovely cat comes sauntering along after knocking over a bag of recyclables with her tail. She comes over so softly and rubs up against your leg and then slowly makes her way back upstairs.

By this time you are clutching the washer, your knuckles have gone white, and you have one hand over your heaving chest, trying to catch what little air you have left back into your lungs. This is about the moment you ask yourself why the hell did you ever get a cat.

Back to the task at hand. You now have the clothing out of the dryer and in the basket to carry back upstairs. One foot in front of the other, trying to remember, you are the adult here, you make your way back across the room with a full laundry basket of clean clothes to take upstairs to fold.

Even as you get to the top of the stairs, you still mini dash to the other side of the door, and shut it quick with one foot. You can finally breathe a sigh of relief. You made it out of the basement alive for another day.

Not today Underworld, not today demons.